Alas, we Republicans have been done in – unmasked by Obama’s reelection machine, including his mainstream media. 

It seems we Republicans hate women in general and women’s health in particular. To get even with those sinful hussies we’re going to take away their birth control pills.

Actually, Jackie and I, both Republicans, sinned for years with the pill.

I came home and found her just finishing a Time magazine story about the newly invented pill. She threw the magazine at me, jumped up and shouted, “Yes!” She was barely 22; we had two boys and wanted no more.

When I finished reading the article we had a serious discussion regarding the pill’s morality and legality. She was already donning her coat so I inquired about her destination. She stabbed her fist straight up in the air and shouted, “To the drugstore.”

I said, “These pills are unnatural. Maybe if God wanted us to use pills he would have given them to us.”

She replied, “God didn’t give you wheels but you drive to work.”

“But, Jackie, won’t we be sinning?”

“Yes,” she grinned, “every chance we get.”

“Are these things legal in this state?” I asked.

She laughed and said, “You’ll only have one witness and I promise I won’t tell the law.”

Finally I argued, “I don’t know about this; we Republicans are straight laced.”

She responded, “The Republican county chairman’s wife told me about them.”

Then with a guttural Terminator announcement, “I’ll be back,” she roared off to the drugstore.

In all the years since then, until our dastardly misogyny was exposed by Obama’s election machine, I’ve never known Republicans who suggested taking away birth control. Those I’ve known shouted, “Yee hah, game on!”

Well, except for a few closet Catholics. To avoid sin they used monthly timing called the rhythm system for birth control. We had a special name for them: parents. But Catholics are mostly Democrats anyway; perhaps that’s one reason we have so many Democrats.

Randy Ridgel lives in Kelseyville, Calif.