Each year at this time I receive phone calls and emails inquiring about the unsolved murder of Barbara LaForge.

Sorting through gallery inventory recently led me to unwrap an unfamiliar box. Carefully placed inside this cardboard box was a beautifully framed memento which belonged to Barbara LaForge.

Never forgetting how proud she was of her whippet show dog, Carmen, a flood of emotions ran through me. That's because Carmen was the only eyewitness to Barbara's murder, which occurred on Tuesday, Oct. 8, 2002.

My mind immediately flashed back to the dreadful day 11 years ago when I learned my friend was murdered in our place of business.

I gazed upon the picture showing Carmen's first blue ribbon. Barbara, who was so proud of the win, was standing with the judge. There were various articles depicting this very happy time in Barbara's life so beautifully placed in this shadow box.

The questions I had suppressed once again filled my thoughts from so many years ago.

I found myself staring at Barbara's photo, uttering under my own breath, “Barbara, what happened to you? Who did this to you? Why?”

I had to ask, because I don't know who did it, or why.

Never forgetting that fall morning – but sometimes wanting to erase it all from my mind – memories flooded my mind.

They included the phone call I received from Mike Stafford, a business owner next door who found her lifeless body after my phone calls to locate her failed.

It was shocking, something no human could ever forget – that call that no one ever wants to receive.

The very distressed and shaking voice repeating over and over, “I think she's dead,” was the beginning of a nightmare that has haunted me, her family, friends and community for all too many years.

Unsolved murders are not easy. They are troublesome; dealing with them can take bites out of your life that can never be regained.

The not knowing is the worst; the bewilderment leaves you in a place called limbo. It's a place you cannot breath in, a place that swallows you up.

Life changes. You look at everyone, every possibility and every probability in a different light.

Murder has its own deeper level of denial and shock. The event is unbelievable, unexpected, tragic and a crime, all at once.

The fear and anger you experience and the psychological effects can take years to work through. But I discovered that sometimes anger is not a bad thing as it allowed me to persevere.

It has helped me to move forward and to create a memorial fund in Barbara's memory. And it also has helped me as I seek to heal.

Today I can say that the path I traveled led me to help victims of domestic violence by raising awareness and also money for the Freedom House domestic violence shelter in Kelseyville.

Although I do not believe Barbara was a victim of domestic violence, she was a victim of the ultimate violence – murder.

Lake Family Resource Center was named “Charity of Choice” by the Corvettes of Lake County for several years now, donating $9,000 in Barbara LaForge's memory.

These generous donations assisted in building rooms, a play yard for children, gutters for the shelter building and helping keep the Rape Crisis Center stable.

Artwork from my gallery was raffled and Wine and Chocolate art auctions brought the total to $14,500. And that's became my recipe for making sweet lemonade out of a tragic event.

My hopes sometimes fade for a conclusion to this cold case, yet discouragement or weariness will not dictate silence or forgetfulness.

I have been assured that the Lakeport Police detective assigned to investigate the murder is continuing his work to bring this case to a conclusion, and I believe this case will one day be solved.

That glimmer of hope sustains me through the passing years and I hope all who knew Barbara will continue to pray for a resolution and never forget Barbara's warmth and love for others.

Gail Salituri formerly owned the Inspirations Gallery, which shared space with Barbara LaForge's Wildwood Frame Shop in downtown Lakeport. She lives in Kelseyville, Calif.

In the tradition of C.S. Lewis and Joan Didion comes another gifted writer chronicling the aftermath of the death of the beloved.

“There is a knock at the door,” she begins.

A policeman. After nine months of marriage the soulmate it took her a lifetime to find is suddenly no more. “Oh my god, oh my god.”

In “The Hardest Thing I’ll Ever Do,” Linda Guebert touches us where it hurts, exquisitely capturing the moody tides of agonizing despair and senseless hope that follow the tragedy of love lost. And who among us has not loved and lost, one way or another?

Subtitled “A Journey of Sorrow, Healing & Hope,” this stirring memoir leads us down the dead ends of denial and magical thinking; through mortuaries and memorials, old photos and the death of dreams; into the bottomless abyss of sleepless nights and wretched days; and through the labyrinth of wine, valium, bereavement groups, self-help books, massage, anti-depressants and psychotherapy – only to discover the greater healing power of friends, family, humor and kittens.

And time. Those sweet healing hands of time …

Guebert weaves this collection of deepest thoughts and feelings with pointed narratives, uncensored journal entries, the wise words of other bereaved souls, irony and humor (yes, humor), and poignant song lyrics heading each chapter.

The writing is well-crafted, well-paced and engaging – one minute searching out the meanings of life and death, the next minute raging against the ungodly unfairness of life and death, the next minute broken and sobbing on the floor.

The author gives clear and personal voice to the subtleties and complexities of a broken heart and spirit, and the long, slow process of rising from the ashes.

She guides us step-by-lonely-step through the seemingly endless purgatory of pain-filled holidays and anniversaries, leading slowly but inexorably to the resurrection of life, love and hope.

Forcing herself to stay involved with her community radio program, her teaching, her writing and the theater she loves, we watch as Guebert evolves to the bittersweet realization that she isn’t ready to die yet whether she wants to or not. That she longs to love again, someday.

And in time, one day the horror movie is over – but never the love – and a new chapter, a new storyline, begins.

Guebert’s odyssey serves as an important reminder to us that there is a gift in the heart of a wound, that the darkest hour is just before dawn, and that life goes on, carrying us along in its mysterious currents into the unknown future.

Many readers have said they “couldn’t put it down.” I read it in two sittings.

Buy this book, available at Watershed Books in Lakeport, at any Lake County library branch, or online at www.amazon.com or www.barnesandnoble.com . Take it to bed with a cup of hot cocoa, and be touched heart and soul.

“The Hardest Thing I’ll Ever Do: A Journey of Sorrow, Healing & Hope,” 2013 by Linda Guebert, paperback $19.99.

Dr. J. Holden, Ph.D., is a psychologist.

To most people the Lake County Fair is a time of fun and enjoyment of the many vendors and rides, but to the many 4-H and FFA members, fair time is much more than that.

Nine years ago I joined the Scotts Valley 4-H Club and ever since then I have been raising market and breeding animals to show at our local Lake County Fair.

Not only is fair time the best time of the year for me and my fellow 4-H members, but it is a time for us to show our animal projects that we have been raising and caring for months before Labor day weekend to the public.

What most fairgoers don’t know is that almost all 4-H and FFA members spend the entire fair period caring and showing their animals in the livestock barn during fair.

During fair, parents aren’t allowed to physically help or assist the members with their animals. The animals are cared for only by the members. Most even spend their nights in camp trailers or tents on the fairgrounds in order to wake up early to feed and care for their animals much like they do at home.

The morning of the animal shows are busy and full of anticipation and excitement. Livestock exhibitors wake up even earlier than usual, even before the barn lights turn on in the morning, to feed and clean their animals fit for show.

After their animals are done they change into their uniform of white jeans, long sleeve white collared shirts, complete with a belt, boots, and 4-H/FFA scarf/tie. Even in the hot weather FFA members wear their FFA jackets.

The members' performance in the show ring doesn’t start the morning of the show day at fair, but rather their practice starts months before at home, teaching their animals to show and become comfortable with their young owners.

I have been showing and raising lambs for nine years and pigs for five years. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to raise any animals this year because my classes at Chico State start during fair time, inhibiting my ability to show at fair.

I was very sad when I realized that last year was my last year in 4-H, the club I have loved for all these years; 4-H has benefited me largely and it has been essential for me to achieve my goal of going to a four year college.

Chico State is a four-year CSU and as many know it comes at a price. Without 4-H I wouldn’t have been able to achieve my goal of becoming a Chico State student.

Not only has selling my 4-H animals at the auction been helping me financially by making it so I can afford my books for college but 4-H has also helped me mentally. The 4-H and FFA members really benefit from the auction and the whole program.

In 4-H through experience and practice, I have learned to keep accurate records, speak publicly, present myself and my project to the best of my ability, be self-motivated, responsible, sportsmanship like, patient, respectful, and be a team member as well as a leader.

At the Lake County Fair Junior Livestock Auction I have sold my market animals to a local business or individuals. Without their support all these years I wouldn’t have achieved as much as I have now. I am very grateful for their support and I can never thank them enough.

In four years I will graduate Chico State and hopefully get into UC Davis or another college of veterinary medicine to become a mixed practice veterinarian. After four years of vet school I plan to return to Lake County and practice where I grew up. I will become a buyer at the livestock auction and a sheep breeder to support 4-H members who will be in the place I once was.

I am very grateful for all the businesses and individuals that have not only supported me but my 4-H peers as well. So this year at the fair please stop by the livestock barn and take a look and notice how well all the animals are cared for and notice the hard working youth that take care of them and recognize the businesses and individuals who support them.

Miranda Wanzer is a member of the Scotts Valley 4-H Club in Lakeport, Calif. The 4-H Youth Development is a program of the University of California Cooperative Extension. For more information on the 4-H program contact U.C. Cooperative Extension, 883 Lakeport Blvd., Lakeport, CA 95453, 707-263-6838.

Today a needless and reckless government shutdown continues. There is no reason for us to be in this situation.

Our government is closed because 40 or so radical Tea Party Republicans refuse to vote for any funding bill that doesn’t delay or defund the Affordable Care Act.

This is a fight they’ve lost nearly 50 times in Congress, in a national election and in the United States Supreme Court.

Keeping the government shut down because Democrats want to make sure people can buy affordable health insurance is a thoughtless disregard for responsible governance and the people we serve.

Democrats have compromised. I agreed to support funding measure that included $72 billion in annualized across the board spending cuts to keep the government open.

The Senate passed this legislation multiple times before the government closed, but this wasn’t enough for the Tea Party wing of the House Majority – for them to vote for any measure the Affordable Care Act had to be defunded or delayed.

Their refusal to compromise is hurting our economy and country. It’s putting 800,000 federal employees out of work and delaying paychecks for two million more, cutting off food-safety operations and infectious disease surveillance, stopping important medical research, halting the disbursement of new small business loans, and costing the tax payers $150 million a day.

Now the House Majority is trying to pass piecemeal funding measures to fund things like our national parks and the Department of Veterans Affairs. These bills are nothing more than cynical political ploys designed to lessen the outrage the House Majority is facing for shutting down the government.

By passing these piecemeal measures, the House Majority is choosing which people the government works for and which people it ignores. That’s not the way government works. It’s irresponsible. And while it might be good for politics it’s terrible for our country.

The right thing to do for our nation would be to pass the Senate’s compromise government funding legislation that protects health care reform and reduces spending.

I stand ready to support such a bill. Democrats stand ready to support such a bill. And many responsible members of the Republican Party in the House stand ready to pass such a bill. If it was put on the floor of the House today it would be passed and our government would be open tomorrow.

It’s important for everyone in our nation that the institution of representative government works. Right now this important institution is being held hostage by a small fraction of extremists in the House Majority who are obsessed with sabotaging health care reform.

It’s time for the House Majority to put the interests of our nation ahead of the interest of the Tea Party, pass the Senate’s compromise bill, and reopen our government.

Congressman Mike Thompson is proud to represent California’s 5th Congressional District, which includes all or part of Contra Costa, Lake, Napa, Solano and Sonoma counties. He is a senior member of the House Ways and Means Committee and the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. Rep. Thompson is also a member of the fiscally conservative Blue Dog Coalition and chairs the bipartisan, bicameral Congressional Wine Caucus.

As our society has changed, so have the technologies we all use everyday. Our children don’t know life without today’s technology. As we use today’s technology to enhance and improve our lives today, we must also be wary of the dangers.

Many children use the Internet and social media as their new playground. Some people spend more time online than any other activity in their life.

Although many people feel their children are safe because they are in the home and away from the dangers of the outside world, they are not. The Internet has allowed people who prey on children into your house through the Internet.

I admit having the ability to contact your children by cell phone is an incredible convenience. I am not against today’s technology, but I am concerned how this technology is used to put our children in harm's way.

As many of our children’s cell phones these days also have access to the Internet, the threat is with them much of the day. Most teenagers would consider their cell phone as there most important possession as it gives them freedom.

The Internet is full of predators. More than just people who are after your Social Security number and bank account information, the Internet is a tool used by people who want to prey on your children. Predators on the Internet are sophisticated and dangerous and many of them target your children.

It is very important for parents to talk to their children about the Internet. The Internet is an incredible learning tool and when used properly can enhance your children’s education. And yes, you need to be able to trust your children, but they must be well educated about the dangers of the Internet and social media. Just like children have been taught about stranger danger, there are many strangers online.

Some information your children post on social media Web sites like Facebook seem innocent, but do you really know who is looking at this information?

There is also a trend on social media sites being called “cyber bullying.” In these cases comments can be made which are hurtful or harassing and the problem escalates. This is a real problem which has been documented in recent national headlines where some teenagers have committed suicide over postings on social media.

There are also numerous documented cases in this country where children were communicating through the Internet with predators. Generally these predators misrepresented themselves as children and had friendships or relationships with these children. Some of these children later met with these strangers, resulting in some of them being sexually assaulted or murdered by theses predators.

Each household with children needs to discuss the dangers of the Internet. I have researched numerous Web sites that discuss this growing danger of the Internet and found www.Netsmartz.org does a very good job at educating both parents and children about these dangers. This Web site is operated by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) and I urge parents to go to the Web site and spend some time reviewing the information with their child.

The following are a few ideas from the Netsmartz Web site to assist you in keeping your children safe of the Internet.

Children use a variety of online services, and each of these services can have different safety concerns. However, there are some basic tips which you can employ no matter how your children use the Internet.

• Keep the computer in a high-traffic area of your home.
• Establish limits for which online sites children may visit and for how long.
• Remember that Internet technology can be mobile, so make sure to monitor cell phones, gaming devices and laptops.
• Surf the Internet with your children and let them show you what they like to do online.
• Know who is connecting with your children online and set rules for social networking, instant messaging, e-mailing, online gaming, and using webcams.
• Continually dialogue with your children about online safety.

Start a discussion with your child:

• What are your favorite things to do online?
• What is personal information? Why should you keep it private?
• What could you do to be safer online?
• What would you do if anyone online asked to meet you face-to-face?
• Besides me, who do you feel that you can talk to if you are in a scary or uncomfortable situation?

My hope is to keep all children safe. If you suspect a child has been victimized, contact your local jurisdiction and report it:

• Lake County Sheriff’s Office – 707-263-2690;
• Lakeport Police Department – 707-263-5491;
• Clearlake Police Department – 707-994-8251;
• NCMEC Cyber Tip Line – 1-800-843-5678.

Det. Todd Dunia works for the Lake County Sheriff’s Office, based in Lakeport, Calif.

Medicare covers a variety of heath care services that you can receive in the comfort and privacy of your home. These include intermittent skilled nursing care, physical therapy, speech-language pathology services, and occupational therapy.

Such services used to be available only at a hospital or doctor’s office. But they’re just as effective, more convenient, and usually less expensive when you get them in your home.

To be eligible for home health benefits, you must be under a doctor’s care and receive your services under a plan of care established and reviewed regularly by a physician. He or she also needs to certify that you need one or more home health services.

In addition, you must be homebound and have a doctor’s certification to that effect. (Being homebound means leaving your home isn’t recommended because of your condition, or your condition keeps you from leaving without using a wheelchair or walker, or getting help from another person.)

Also, you must get your services from a home health agency that’s Medicare-approved.

If you meet these criteria, Medicare pays 100 percent for covered home health services for as long as you’re eligible and your doctor certifies that you need them.

For durable medical equipment (like a walker, wheelchair, or oxygen equipment), you pay 20 percent of the Medicare-approved amount, after you pay the Part B deductible ($147 in 2013).

Skilled nursing services are covered when they’re given on a part-time or intermittent basis. In order for Medicare to cover such care, it must be necessary and ordered by your doctor for your specific condition. Medicare does not cover full-time nursing care.

Skilled nursing services are given by either a registered nurse or a licensed practical nurse under an RN’s supervision. Nurses provide direct care and teach you and your caregivers about your care. Examples of skilled nursing care include: giving IV drugs, shots, or tube feedings; changing dressings; and teaching about prescription drugs or diabetes care.

Any service that could be done safely by a non-medical person (or by yourself) without the supervision of a nurse, isn’t skilled nursing care.

Physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech-language pathology services have to be specific, safe, and effective treatments for your condition.

Before your home health care begins, the home health agency should tell you how much of your bill Medicare will pay. The agency should also tell you if any items or services they give you aren’t covered by Medicare, and how much you’ll have to pay for them.

This should be explained by both talking with you and in writing. The agency should give you a notice called the Home Health Advance Beneficiary Notice before giving you services and supplies that Medicare doesn’t cover.

What isn’t covered? Some examples:

• 24-hour-a-day care at home;
• Meals delivered to your home;
• Homemaker services like shopping, cleaning, and laundry (when this is the only care you need, and when these services aren’t related to your plan of care);
• Personal care given by home health aides like bathing, dressing, and using the bathroom (when this is the only care you need).

If your doctor decides you need home health care, you can choose from among the Medicare-certified agencies in your area. (However, Medicare Advantage plans may require that you get home health services only from agencies they contract with.)

One good way to look for a home health agency is by using Medicare’s “Home Health Compare” web tool, at www.medicare.gov/HHCompare . This tool lets you compare home health agencies by the types of services they offer and the quality of care they provide.

For more details on Medicare’s home health benefit, please read our booklet, “Medicare and Home Health Care.”

It’s online at http://www.medicare.gov/publications/pubs/pdf/10969.pdf .

David Sayen is Medicare’s regional administrator for Arizona, California, Nevada, Hawaii, and the Pacific Territories. You can always get answers to your Medicare questions by calling 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227).