There's a rumor out there on the tubes of the Internet that The Onion, which has given us so many moments of hilarity with its fake news stories, is for sale. It's at the Gawker blog, http://gawker.com/5314739/the-onion-said-to-be-negotiating-sale .

Good luck with that. Bankruptcy looks like the only growth industry among the few remaining media chains which own most of our news sources and are scrambling to see who can get rid of the most actual notebook-carrying reporters.

But the real problem for The Onion sale is that the actual news, as compared with the fake news, seems far less probable these days, and far more worthy of hysterical laughter.

A governor resigns, incoherently, 18 months before her term is up and her political party anoints her as a good candidate for president.

A city council announces it has no interest in televising its proceedings and the citizens don't start a recall, or at least loudly squeak in indignation.

Another governor admits, with gag-inducing greeting card sentimentality, to lying about an extramarital affair without offering to resign. His constituents don't question that.

A group of privileged white men question the integrity of a Latina judge candidate who acknowledges that life experiences have a role in shaping everyone.

A public employee uses on-duty time and public money for his commercial pilot flying lessons and no one in his department notices until he nearly crashes the helicopter.

Another governor, elected on campaign promises to straighten out the state's fiscal mess, apparently forgets that for six years until the middle of budget talks, when he demands top-to-bottom reforms before the budget can be settled.

How can satire compete with any of that?

Sophie Annan Jensen is a retired journalist. She lives in Lucerne.