THE FIVE-YEAR ENGAGEMENT (Rated R)

Everyday life often results in making bad decisions. My most recent terrible choice was thinking that the comedic pedigree of a Judd Apatow production would result in unbridled hilarity.

As a result, I screened “The Five-Year Engagement” instead of trying to see the animated comedy “The Pirates! Band of Misfits.” This error in judgment cost me roughly an extra hour of time never to be recovered.

Just for starters, “The Five-Year Engagement” is almost as long and plodding as the title suggests.  Given the object of attention is the appealing coupling of Jason Segel and Emily Blunt, I had hoped for a better, livelier outcome.

At times funny, sometimes touching and other times crude or profane (hey, this has the stamp of Apatow on it), this effort by director Nicholas Stoller (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) wanders the landscape without a decent payoff.

The film opens with Segel’s Tom and Blunt’s Violet on the anniversary of how they met one year earlier at a New Year’s Eve costume party.

In a flashback, we see Tom dressed as a pink bunny while Violet perfected the Princess Diana look, complete with the sparkly tiara to complement the spot-on hairdo.

The sous-chef at an upscale San Francisco restaurant, Tom has a great career in the works. Violet is angling for a postdoctoral position at Berkeley.

No sooner than Tom and Violet have their engagement party do things start to change in their lives.  

Tom’s friend and fellow chef Alex (Chris Pratt) has a one-night stand with Violet’s sister (Alison Brie).  Let’s just say that the two of them get married a lot sooner than Tom and Violet.

Meanwhile, Violet loses out at Berkeley but gets accepted by University of Michigan into the school’s psychology department. This leads to the first of many dilemmas.

Leaving behind a great opportunity to become the head chef at a new chic eatery, Tom heads off to Michigan with Violet for what turns out to be a serious period of adjustment.

Violet finds professional satisfaction with her university position, working with some goofy colleagues and being drawn closely to her charismatic mentor, head of the department, Winton Childs (Rhys Ifans).

On the other hand, Tom is rejected by every restaurant in town, some expressing great puzzlement and amusement at his decision to abandon a great gig in the Bay Area.

The only job Tom can locate is one of making sandwiches in a hippie deli run by some unforgettable goofballs, including Brian Posehn as the self-described “pickle nerd.”

The bleak Michigan winters, added to the general lack of excitement, cause Tom to fall in with another faculty spouse, Bill (Chris Parnell), a sad and lonely oddball who spends time knitting really ugly sweaters.

Bill also introduces Tom to the outdoor pleasure of deer hunting, and before you know it, Tom grows a long, straggly beard that makes him look like the Unabomber.

When Violet’s two-year tenure at the university turns into an unexpectedly longer commitment, Tom sinks so deep into depression that it seems to be a stretch to think of this movie as a romantic comedy.

The best comedic effort comes from Tom’s old chef buddy Alex, who has a real knack for being a foolish but amusingly annoying jerk.  

For his part, Jason Segel has no problem going for the laughs, even if it requires exposing sensitive body parts. Thankfully, he only bares his butt this time, not the full frontal exposure as in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”

The premise of “The Five-Year Engagement” appears to be that love will eventually win out over an extended period of time, if the parties are right for each other.

At least, I think that’s the foundational reason for a story that should have been resolved in the same amount of time as a half-hour sitcom.

One can’t help but wonder why two people in love will not find a way to make marriage work, whether they’re stuck in the desolate environment of Michigan or the boondocks of North Dakota or northern Minnesota.

But then, “The Five-Year Engagement” would have lost its promise of being considered a romantic comedy, even though I firmly believe it is only intermittently funny.
     
Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.

Adult and youth artists from around the country are invited to submit their original artwork to the 2012 California Duck Stamp Contest.

The California Department of Fish and Game (DFG) will accept submissions from April 30 through May 30.

This is the first year the contest is open to youth artists – in previous years it was geared to artists 18 or older.

The youth contest is open to any artist under the age of 18 as of April 30, 2012. The winning artwork from the adult contest will be reproduced on the 2012 California Duck Stamp and the youth winner will receive an award.

The top contest submissions will also be showcased at the Pacific Flyway Decoy Association’s art show in July.

The picture must depict the species selected by the California Fish and Game Commission, which is the Aleutian Canada Goose (Branta canadensis leucopareia).

The design is to be in full color and in the medium (or combination of mediums) of the artist’s choosing, except that no photographic process, digital art, metallic paints or fluorescent paints may be used in the finished design.

Photographs, computer-generated art, art produced from a computer printer or other computer/mechanical output device (air brush method excepted) are not eligible to be entered into the contest and will be disqualified.

The design must be the contestant’s original “hand drawn” creation. The entry design may not be copied or duplicated from previously published art, including photographs, or from images in any format published on the Internet.

All entries must be accompanied by a completed participation agreement and entry form. These forms and the official rules are available online at www.dfg.ca.gov/duckstamp .

Entries will be judged at a public event to be held in Sacramento in June. The judges’ panel, which will consist of experts in the fields of ornithology, conservation, and art and printing will choose first-, second- and third-place winners along with an honorable mention in both contests.

Since 1971, the California Duck Stamp Program’s annual contest has attracted top wildlife artists from around the country. All proceeds generated from stamp sales go directly to waterfowl conservation projects throughout California. In past years, hunters were required to purchase and affix the stamp to their hunting license.

Now California has moved to an automated licensing system and hunters are no longer required to carry the physical stamps in the field (proof of purchase prints directly onto the license).

However, DFG will still produce the stamps, which can be requested by interested individuals on DFG’s Web site at www.dfg.ca.gov/licensing/collectorstamps/ .

THE LUCKY ONE (Rated PG-13)

Sometimes all you need to know about the prospects for your enjoyment of a movie is the source material upon which the screenplay is written.

For example, the citation of J.K. Rowling conjures the vision of Harry Potter. What image comes to mind at the mention of the author Nicholas Sparks?

Admittedly, I have never read a Sparks novel and probably never will, thanks to what I know about film adaptations of “The Notebook,” “Nights in Rodanthe” and “A Walk to Remember,” just to name a few.

Nicholas Sparks is a very successful, bestselling storyteller, but I would say that I am not the target audience, unless I undergo a change of gender and shave off a few years.

“The Lucky One,” starring Zac Efron (“High School Musical”) of all people, is the latest adaption of Sparks’ novel, with a screenplay credited to Will Fetters.

Subjectively speaking, “The Lucky One” appears to be an average romantic drama, not quite as good as Sparks’ devotees would argue, but then not really as bad as many critics would believe.

The formulaic ingredients for romantic melodrama are all place. Zac Efron and Taylor Schilling (NBC drama series “Mercy”) are appealing, attractive leads, against the backdrop of scenic, bucolic small-town bayou Louisiana.

The story begins in a setting far removed from a tranquil rural environment. Efron’s Logan Thibault is a Marine Sergeant on his third tour of duty in the Iraq War.

Nearing the end of his last tour, Logan spots a photograph sticking out of the rubble during a fierce battle scene. Stooping down to pick it up saves his life from a nearby explosion.

The unidentified photograph of a pretty blonde becomes his talisman, a good luck charm that Logan carries everywhere, even back home to Colorado.

Determined to locate the mystery woman, Logan sets out on foot with his dog and ends up in Hamden, Louisiana in search of the woman who identified by locals as Beth (Schilling). You may wonder, as did I, why he just didn’t take the Greyhound bus.

Beth, along with her sassy grandmother Ellie (Blythe Danner), runs a family-owned kennel. Showing up at her door, Logan meets Beth, but is unable to tell her about the photo and instead takes a menial job at the kennel.

Now you may wonder, as did I, why he just didn’t announce the true purpose of his unexpected arrival. Of course, she would have gracefully accepted his gratitude and maybe shared a few stories. The movie could have been over in less than a half-hour.

Because Logan fails to explain himself, Beth instinctively distrusts the mysterious stranger. Moreover, her life is complicated by divorce from local deputy sheriff Keith (Jay R. Ferguson) and a struggle over custody of their young son Ben (Riley Thomas Stewart).

There are no surprises in “The Lucky One,” and thus over a period of time Beth warms to Logan, seeing how he is good with animals and especially with her son. Of course, grandma Ellie drops occasional words of encouragement or wisdom. That’s why Blythe Danner is in this film.

Still, there’s the lingering problem of Logan holding back the secret of the true reason he ended up in Louisiana. As the romantic connection between Beth and Logan inevitably unfolds, the unrevealed confidence remains the nagging impediment.

Unavoidably, “The Lucky One” will pursue some important questions. Will brutish sheriff Keith get drunk and threaten someone? Will Beth get mad when she finds out about the photo? Will your popcorn go stale before the end credits roll?

The question you may want to ask yourself is whether this is the right movie for you. In the end, it won’t matter what grumpy critics think. A Nicolas Sparks-inspired film has its ready audience.

TCM CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL

What is the golden age of Hollywood? The answer is subjective, depending on the taste of a varied audience clamoring to see great films on the big screen.

The recent TCM Classic Film Festival provided a lot of opportunities for film buffs. Thankfully, there will be a fourth annual festival around this time next year.

One of the biggest highlights was “How the West Was Won” being screened in the wide-screen Cinerama format. Fan favorites like “Casablanca” and “Singin’ in the Rain” got the star treatment at the fabled Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

One treat was getting to see the still beautiful Kim Novak introducing the classic Alfred Hitchcock “Vertigo.” Mind you, Novak made this great film in 1958.

I particularly enjoyed seeing Mel Brooks introduce “Young Frankenstein.” He told the story of how Gene Wilder was a last minute replacement in “Blazing Saddles” and that during the filming the two of them came up with the story for “Young Frankenstein.”

The festival also featured some great film noir, including “Cry Danger,” with an appearance by star Rhonda Fleming, and “Gun Crazy,” with co-star Peggy Cummins.

British actress Cummins left Hollywood in 1950, and the TCM festival marked her visit in 62 years. It was great to hear her tell stories about a bygone era.

Film buffs should make every effort to attend next year’s TCM Classic Film Festival, which keeps getting better.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.

UPPER LAKE, Calif. – Mike Wilhelm & Hired Guns will play Blues Monday at the Blue Wing Saloon in Upper Lake on Monday, May 7.

Blues Mondays are a regular Monday feature at the Blue Wing Saloon & Café. The band plays from 6:30 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Guitarist/vocalist Wilhelm is a recent inductee into the American Heritage International Foundation Blues Hall of Fame.

Bassist Jamie Webber came up in Chicago, playing with Earl Hooker. More recently he was the longtime bassist for rock, blues and country legend Lonnie Mack.

Sticks the Drummer is a recent arrival in Lake County and is the most recent member to join. He stays in the pocket with Webber at all times.

Another recent addition is lead guitarist Gary Bouley, an extremely fluent player who lends yet more nuances to Wilhelm's already evocative blues.

Rounding out the band is tenor saxophonist Dave Gower whose solos draw applause from audiences and band members alike and whom Wilhelm describes as "… the style of player I've been looking for, a real find."

Blue Wing Saloon & Cafe is part of the historic Tallman Hotel complex located at 9520 Main St., Upper Lake.

Due to the popularity of the Monday night blues shows reservations are recommended. Further information is available at www.BlueWingSaloon.com .

For information about Mike Wilhelm & Hired Guns go to www.mike-wilhelm.com .

Here’s a fine poem about family love and care by Janet Eigner, who lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico. You can feel that blessing touch the crown of your head, can’t you?

Isaac’s Blessing

When Isaac, a small, freckled boy
approaching seven, visits us for Family Camp,
playing pirate with his rubber sword,

sometimes he slumps in grief,
trudging along, his sacrifice and small violin
in hand, his palm over his chest,

saying, Mother is here
in my heart. Before he leaves for home,
we ask if he’d like a Jewish blessing.

Our grandson’s handsome face ignites;
he chirps a rousing, yes, for a long life.
We unfold the prayer shawl,

its Hebrew letters silvering the spring light,
hold the white tallis above his head,
recite the blessing in its ancient language

and then the English, adding, for a long life.
Isaac complains, the tallis didn’t
touch his head, so he didn’t feel the blessing.

We lower its silken ceiling
to graze his dark hair,
repeat the prayer.

American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation ( www.poetryfoundation.org ), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright ©2009 by Janet Eigner, whose most recent book of poetry is What Lasts is the Breath, Black Swan Editions, 2012. Reprinted from Cornstalk Mother, Pudding House Publications, 2009, by permission of Janet Eigner and the publisher. Introduction copyright © 2012 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.

LAKEPORT, Calif. – The Lake County Arts Council will host its next First Friday Fling on May 4.

The fling will take place from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m. at the Main Street Gallery, 325 N. Main St., Lakeport.

Besides, enjoying the work of new artists showing at the First Friday Fling and reviewing the work of artists continuing in the show, you will be able to enjoy the talent of singer/song writer Tom Xavier, whose music captures the spirit of Northern California.

Xavier's original music captures country life style and blends in the beauty of nature while combining his works with Jim Croce, John Denver, Harry Chapin, Hank Williams and Waylon Jennings as major influences.

Xavier prefers performing in intimate surroundings, as acoustic as possible, and sharing a good story and interactive evening with the audience.

As a singer/songwriter he writes about the events and experiences that have most influenced his life – sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always with truth and, hopefully entertaining.

For more information call the Main Street Gallery at 707-263-6658.