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Arts & Life
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- Written by: Ted Kooser
People speak of “hearts and flowers” when they’re talking about poems with predictable sentimentality, but here’s an antidote to all those valentines, from Sally Bliumis-Dunn, who lives in New York.
Her most recent book of poems is Second Skin, Wind Publications, 2010.
Heart
She has painted her lips
hibiscus pink.
The upper lip dips
perfectly in the center
like a Valentine heart.
It makes sense to me—
that the lips, the open
ah of the mouth
is shaped more like a heart
than the actual human heart.
I remember the first time I saw it—
veined and shiny
as the ooze of a snail—
if this were what
we had been taught to draw
how differently we might have
learned to love.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation ( www.poetryfoundation.org ), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright 2014 by Sally Bliumus-Dunn and reprinted by permission. Introduction copyright 2015 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
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- Written by: Tim Riley
HOT PURSUIT (Rated PG-13)
The notion of a female buddy comedy that pairs mismatched partners in a clash of personalities that would remind one of Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock in the wildly funny “The Heat” would seem like a successful formula for a really good comedy.
Maybe that’s what director Anne Fletcher (“The Proposal”) had in mind for “Hot Pursuit.” Or maybe she was thinking of a twist on “The Odd Couple,” with one person fussy and uptight and the other the complete opposite, but also hilarious in the same way that Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin were totally incompatible in “Midnight Run.”
“Hot Pursuit” is not that kind of movie. It’s not even close to being reasonably funny, which in itself is a great disappointment given that Reese Witherspoon and sexy bombshell Sofia Vergara offer, at least on paper, the perception of comedic polar opposites capable of delivering some laughs.
I believe that another critic referred to this film as a “hot mess,” and being stymied at the moment for a more original thought, I just have to say that there may not be a better description for what unfolds in this attempted comedy that misfires so badly.
Witherspoon’s Officer Cooper is an uptight and by-the-book cop, who after an unfortunate incident with the use of a Taser on a civilian, has been relegated to the evidence room.
No one even calls her by her first name or even seems to know what it is. Apparently, Cooper doesn’t fit in very well with the San Antonio Police Department.
Surprisingly, her superior, Captain Emmett (John Carroll Lynch), offers a field assignment that would seem more appropriate for a seasoned officer, namely escorting the wife of a mob boss to Dallas, where she and her husband will testify against a major drug lord.
Excited to get out of the property room, Cooper is an intensely enthusiastic policewoman who can cite every section of the Penal Code and does so, most annoyingly, with great frequency. She’s also very petite, even more so in comparison to Colombian beauty Sofia Vergara’s mob wife Daniella Riva.
There are few laughs (maybe just two or three, at most) in “Hot Pursuit,” but it is amusing when the stiff, tense policewoman introduces herself as “Officer Cooper” to Mrs. Riva, who in turn replies “Look at you, you’re teeny-tiny, you’re like a little dog that I can put in my purse.”
What starts off as a supposedly routine transport assignment, one that even the desk-bound officer could handle, turns into a danger-filled Texas road trip when Cooper and Daniella are forced to make a run after they become the targets of both the drug lord’s henchmen and a pair of corrupt cops.
Intent on obeying the rules and following protocol, Cooper rigidly tries to steer her charge, Mrs. Riva, on the road to Dallas, but Daniella is used to doing things her own way and in her own time. The bickering between the two women begins almost the moment they first meet.
Then things go wrong when Mr. Riva is killed in a shootout. The sassy, spoiled Daniella, who insists on carrying luggage filled with expensive, gaudy high-heeled shoes, has no choice but to make a getaway in her vintage bright red Cadillac convertible with Officer Cooper.
A series of bizarre events almost too coincidentally convenient to establishing the two women as fugitives from the law result in them being completely on their own.
It doesn’t help that Cooper and Daniella are completely at odds with one another, with Mrs. Riva ranting and raving like she just escaped from an insane asylum.
The film’s best running gag just happens to come from frequent television news reports seen in the background, which manage to keep decreasing the height description of the diminutive Cooper and increasing the age of the statuesque Daniella, much to the frustration of the latter.
While on the lam, Cooper and Daniella stumble upon a bewildered farmer (comedian Jim Gaffigan) they disarm by pretending to be lesbians who can’t keep their hands off of each other. Meanwhile, he shoots off his finger during the excitement. This is just of many lame efforts at humor.
A more pleasant encounter comes when the two desperate women commandeer a pickup truck, not knowing that its owner, the hunky Randy (Robert Kazinsky), is passed out in the back with a monitor attached to his ankle.
Being a felon himself, Randy is sympathetic and helpful, and oddly enough attracted to the pushy, forceful policewoman.
The misfiring gags run the gamut from Cooper in a disguise as a teenage boy sneaking into a drug lord’s birthday party to the two women taking over a bus full of senior citizens on a sightseeing trip in order to stage a highway demolition derby with pursuing bad guys.
As mentioned earlier, “Hot Pursuit” is a hot mess. The jokes are so redundant about everything from fashion faux pas to police procedures that the comedy is a complete miscarriage.
The collateral damage also taints the comedic talents of Sofia Vergara and Reese Witherspoon, but hopefully they’ll recover from this mess.
Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.
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- Written by: Ted Kooser
A couple I know adopted three very small children from a distant country, and the children had never been constrained in any way.
The airliner’s seatbelts were so fearful for them that they screamed all the way back to the States. But since then their lives have been wonderfully happy.
And here’s a similar story, this too with a good ending, by Patrick Hicks of South Dakota.
The Strangers
After we picked you up at the Omaha airport,
we clamped you into a new car seat
and listened to you yowl
beneath the streetlights of Nebraska.
Our hotel suite was plump with toys,
ready, we hoped, to soothe you into America.
But for a solid hour you watched the door,
shrieking, Umma, the Korean word for mother.
Once or twice you glanced back at us
and, in this netherworld where a door home
had slammed shut forever, your terrified eyes
paced between the past and the future.
Umma, you screamed, Umma!
But your foster mother back in Seoul never appeared.
Your new mother and I lay on the bed,
cooing your birth name,
until, at last, you collapsed into our arms.
In time, even terror must yield to sleep.
American Life in Poetry is made possible by The Poetry Foundation ( www.poetryfoundation.org ), publisher of Poetry magazine. It is also supported by the Department of English at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Poem copyright 2014 by Patrick Hicks, “The Strangers,” from Adoptable, (Salmon Poetry, 2014). Poem reprinted by permission of Patrick Hicks and the publisher. Introduction copyright 2015 by The Poetry Foundation. The introduction's author, Ted Kooser, served as United States Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress from 2004-2006. They do not accept unsolicited manuscripts.
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- Written by: Tim Riley
AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (Rated PG-13)
The summer season has arrived in early May and if there is a guaranteed box office hit, both for domestic and global audiences, it’s director Joss Whedon’s “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” a spectacular action film impervious to the opinions of film critics.
Just three years, Marvel Studios delivered the ultimate comic-book film in “The Avengers,” tying together for a single purpose mission such awesome superhero characters as Iron Man, Captain America, The Hulk, Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye.
An organization named S.H.I.E.L.D., headed by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), assembled these various Marvel superheroes into a shaky team to take down Loki (Tom Hiddleston), Thor’s megalomaniac adoptive brother, and to defend Earth from an alien attack.
This time around in the “Age of Ultron” S.H.I.E.L.D. has been dismantled and is out of the picture, though its fearless leader Nick Fury is still lurking in the shadows. He’ll show up at an opportune time, but regrettably the raving lunatic Loki is nowhere to be seen.
It may not count for much where things left off the last time, or that “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” came along after 2012’s “The Avengers.”
But there is the matter of the Avengers having to dispense with the wicked Hydra organization holed up in Eastern Europe.
With an assault on Hydra’s mountainous retreat, the Avengers encounter two new adversaries, the twins Pietro and Wanda Maximoff (Aaron-Taylor Johnson and Elizabeth Olson), known as Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch respectively, possessing the psychic powers to induce mind-altering visions for their enemies.
After an arduous battle, the Avengers take refuge in a bunker, celebrating their victory with one of the very few moments of merriment and down-time. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) amuses himself with a challenge to his heroic colleagues to lift his mighty hammer.
Romantic interludes are rare for our busy heroes, but there’s a tentative relationship developing between Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner, aka The Hulk, and Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha, aka Black Widow. The tricky part is to keep Bruce Banner’s emotions in check.
Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, proves his worth financing operations and delivering the humorous quips and barbed observations.
On the other side of the spectrum, Chris Evans’ affable Captain America gently chastises his colleagues for any off-color remarks.
The most fallible member of the team is Jeremy Renner’s Clint Barton, known as Hawkeye for his sharpshooting skills with a lethal crossbow.
In the heat of battle, Hawkeye is obviously more vulnerable than his comrades, which is clear after the first skirmish in the remote forest.
The clash in the Eastern European mountains looks like a breeze in hindsight when the creation of artificial intelligence known as Ultron (voiced with eerie menace by James Spader) lets known his evil plan to bring global peace by eliminating every trace of mankind.
It was supposed to be this way. Tony Stark invested heavily to jumpstart a peacekeeping program, but recovering Loki’s powerful scepter from the clutches of Hydra yielded the surprise of an artificial intelligence in Ultron that developed an army of robot warriors.
Entering the fray against the villainous Ultron puts the Avengers crew at a significant disadvantage in the early goings, so much so that they repair to Hawkeye’s farmhouse in the Midwest to lick their wounds and regroup for the inevitable showdown with Ultron.
Along the way, a new character to help the Avengers arrives with the appearance of Vision (Paul Bettany), an artificial life form that, as far as I can tell, is an android designed by Ultron for nefarious purposes, but turned out to have a sweet soul with a soft spot for humans.
Globe-trotting adventure is the name of the game as the Avengers bounce around several continents before settling back to the climactic fight in the fictional Eastern European country of Sokovia, where the war-torn streets provide an exciting backdrop to the epic final battle scene.
The climactic action puts the Avengers in a difficult bind as the robot army seems nearly indestructible. With Tony Stark in over his head, his old pal Colonel James Rhodes (Don Cheadle) is once again ready to bring some military hardware to the fight.
Though “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” filled with great battle scenes, could benefit from more judicious editing to cut down the running time a tad, director Joss Whedon delivers the action goods that fans of this emerging franchise (two more films are in the works) are gleefully expecting.
What does it matter if, by chance, this second “Avengers,” in the mind of doubters, shines no brighter than a distant meteorite?
All of the elements of success for a superhero franchise are in plain view, and “Age of Ultron” is an action-packed juggernaut that won’t be derailed.
Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.