ZOOLANDER 2 (Rated PG-13)

Sequels typically surface long before fifteen years lapse, but more important than that is the question of what merits revisiting the vapidity of the fashion world after the original “Zoolander” opened in 2001 to less than stellar box-office performance.

What changes the dynamics for “Zoolander 2” is that its source material found new life as a cult favorite on DVD release, achieving success that had eluded Ben Stiller’s satire of haute couture during its run at the multiplex.

The story of “Zoolander 2” has the slim weight and substance of a supermodel’s biggest meal of the day, which is another way of saying there’s not much there. 

But that matters little for the reunion of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson as the fashion world’s most supreme dimwits.

As the story unfolds in the beginning, Stiller’s Derek Zoolander has retreated to a cabin in the snowy mountainous region of Extreme Northern New Jersey, having become a “hermit crab” after the tragic collapse of his Manhattan center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.

Due to faulty construction and truly inept planning, Derek’s learning center fell into the Hudson River, causing the death of his wife (Christine Taylor), who reappears at times as a ghostly vision.

Meanwhile, Owen Wilson’s Hansel, hiding behind a mask for a minor facial injury, holds forth in the desert-like sand dunes of Malibu in a commune where his roving orgy includes a weird bunch of participants, including Kiefer Sutherland and others who look like circus performers.

Billy Zane appears at Derek’s mountain hideaway and delivers an invitation from the Donatella Versace-like fashionista named Alexanya Atoz (Kristen Wiig, unrecognizable with bloated face and outlandish clothes only worn on runways) to come to a fashion show in Rome.

This allows for the idiotic Derek, the preening male model dumber than a bag of rocks, to team up once again with his off-and-on friend and fashion rival Hansel, who appears to be only marginally smarter, and that’s not saying much. 

These two dim-bulbs could use a few smarts, and then they may have been wise to Alexanya’s scheme to mock the has-been models during a glitzy runway show. 

Even more humiliating is how they are treated by her designer, an annoying hipster named Don Atari (Kyle Mooney), who is nevertheless a source of amusement.

Somewhere in the mix is a plot to assassinate pop stars and celebrities.  Justin Bieber is just the latest victim, but his death is spectacularly staged when he is machine-gunned by a motorcyclist and still manages to take a few selfies during his last gasp.

Interpol detective Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz), assigned to the Fashion Crimes Division, has the task of solving the mystery of evil forces seeking to wipe out the beautiful and famous superstars, and for reasons hard to fathom, she recruits Derek and Hansel to help out.

Operating on the thin plot of fashion world follies, Derek and Hansel encounter the androgynous male model called “All” (Benedict Cumberbatch), who barely conceals his contempt for the duo, and cues his exit from any encounter with the pitchy catchphrase “All is done.”

Given his dubious sexuality, All plays the transgender role as if cosmetic surgery had so extremely botched his face that he’d be mistaken for a blemished female impersonator.

But All may be mono-sexual after all, as he announces that he has married himself, considering that particular marital status is now legal in Italy.

Another subplot involves Derek’s son (Cyrus Arnold), who was taken long ago by child services when the fashion model was deemed to be an unfit parent after the death of the child’s mother during the horrific collapse of the learning center.

As luck would have it, Derek Junior is resolutely chubby and uninterested in his father’s profession.  But Derek Junior is the fixation for nefarious forces that believe he’s the Chosen One, and that his blood would tap into the Fountain of Youth during a ritual sacrifice.

Deep into the story, Derek visits the Fashion Prison to confront the evil Mugatu (Will Ferrell), who much like Hannibal Lecter gets the better of Derek and manages to break out of his confinement and return to the fashion underground.

“Zoolander 2” comes down to climactic showdown of evil machinations in a ritual ceremony where real-life fashion icons such as Marc Jacobs, Tommy Hilfiger, Anna Wintour, and Kate Moss allow themselves to be spoofed in a sinister sideshow.

When first meeting Valentina, Hansel remarks: “She’s hot. I trust her.”  It’s one of his best lines.  Sadly, the same sentiment can’t be expressed for “Zoolander 2,” as the hotness factor doesn’t apply to the film itself.

The disappointment of the “Zoolander” sequel is palpable in spite of the funny moments when Stiller and Wilson do their best to utter idiotic dialogue. Yet, moronic witticisms, as fun as they are, can only go so far.

Tim Riley writes film and television reviews for Lake County News.