An important estate planning consideration that sometimes gets overlooked is the funeral, burial and memorial arrangements. What do you want? Who do you want to be in charge? How will the expenses be paid? Do you wish to have your burial site cared and maintained on a regular basis? Let’s examine your options.

Your funeral, burial and memorial wishes should be memorialized in a written instrument, such as your advance health care directive; but the instrument can also be written in a letter to your executor, or your will.

Your written instructions regarding the disposition of your remains and any funeral goods and services must be faithfully observed; provided that your directions are clear and complete, and that necessary payment arrangements have been made.

Financial arrangements can involve insurance, funds designated for that purpose, or prepayment with a funeral director or cemetery.

Your directions regarding internment should say whether you wish cremation or burial. And, if cremation is involved, where and how your ashes should be spread or interred.

The person whom you want in charge should be named as agent in your advance health care directive. Your health care agent has first priority over anyone else with regard to disposing of your bodily remains.

Otherwise, if there is no health care agent, your next of kin – in order of priority – have the legal authority and responsibility to dispose of your remains. Your next of kin are secondarily responsible to pay for the cost of disposing of your remains in the event that your estate is unable to pay the costs.

Those who wish to preserve their burial gravesite in good order may leave money for its care and maintenance. The arrangement for the care of one’s burial site can occur at the time when the site is purchased by you while alive; or, after your death, as a bequest in your will or trust paid to the cemetery.

If you have or will purchase a gravesite, inquire whether the cemetery maintains an endowment care fund to care and maintain the cemetery and/or specific sites.

Such cemetery endowments may remain in existence for perpetuity so long as the money lasts and the cemetery remains in existence. The money can be used for the improvement, embellishment planting or cultivation of the cemetery generally, or for the care improvement, repair, planting, or cultivation of any part of or plot in the cemetery. Paying the cemetery in advance of your passing is the most common approach.

Alternatively, if relevant, you may make a gift of money to a church, or other qualified charitable beneficiary, for the same purposes.

Lastly, leaving money in a so-called “honorary trust” to be established after you die is the least desirable approach as such honorary trusts are unenforceable and may exist for no more than 21 years.

When no such arrangements are made the results can be detrimental for the surviving loved ones.

Bickering over the details – such as where someone gets buried – and paying the expenses is common and can get very ugly. It is best, therefore, that you shoulder the responsibility of planning for your funeral, burial and memorial and not leave it by default to your grieving surviving family.

Dennis A. Fordham, attorney (LL.M. tax studies), is a State Bar Certified Specialist in Estate Planning, Probate and Trust Law. His office is at 55 First St., Lakeport, California. Dennis can be reached by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or by phone at 707-263-3235.

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